idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
