Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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