Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
