shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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