lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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