i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
