standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
