I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
