can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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