My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
