I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
