Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize