Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
