Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
