erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
