Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
