I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
