It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
