Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
do herpes really smell.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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