Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
