I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
