He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
