1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
