I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
