So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
