Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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