You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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