Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
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