I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
