i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
