It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
