The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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