Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
