She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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