its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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