dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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