so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
