Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
