I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
