This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
