My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
