omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
