Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
