Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
