Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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