Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
