you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
