my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
