dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
