She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
