Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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