My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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